You just finished a romantic meal with you wife and you both decide to watch some T.V. And this happens…

In order for a relationship to be happy and healthy you need to be able to find different ways of keeping things fresh and interesting. So if have been feeling like you have just been going through the motions there are some things that you can do to spice everything up a bit.

Try breaking the rules every so often, for example, instead of waiting for two days after a date to call her call earlier and surprise her or even wait a little bit longer, just keep her guessing. And if you want to be sure that she always wants more try planting a big hot kiss on her and then just end the night. This actually serves two different purposes: the first is that it keeps you definitely on her mind and since you are the one ending both the kiss and evening it tends to make her want more.

Try not to make yourself too available in the relationship; in other words if she says something about getting together on Saturday try suggesting Friday, or if she says Saturday suggest Sunday or Monday. Now don’t do this on a consistent basis or you may find yourself without a date permanently. But it never hurts to give the impression of having a good social life; even if you really don’t it still keeps her on her toes.

If you are always eating at the places she likes and suggests then try taking control and suggesting a different restaurant. However, that does not mean to pick a place you know that she hates the idea is not for you to be inconsiderate, but to be assertive.

Try to have a night out with the guys instead of letting her plan the week; this will let her know that you do have other people in your life and it makes her wonder exactly what you do on those nights out with the guys. A little dose of jealousy in a relationship never hurts.
Basically just try to keep a fun and healthy balance of the old give and take in your relationship. Once that balance has been achieved things will be a lot more interesting.

We’ve all been here before, and chances are, we’ll wind-up in the doghouse again. Here are some ways to get a ladder up and out of the doghouse, and back in good graces with the one that you love:

1.       Measure Up.
You’ll know largely by the chill factor  you get from your spouse or girlfriend, but generally speaking, screw-ups land you in four depths of hell:
Ankle-Deep – Knee-Deep – Waste-Deep – Over Your Head

Unless you know you’re in over your head, these tips work.

2.       Own Up.

It ain’t always easy, but it’s simple. Apologize. (By the way, an apology doesn’t include the word “but.” ) Admit the foul, and that you know it hurt her.

3.       Pony Up.
More than flowers, jewelry, spa days…or other gimmes, what works is giving time. Sweat equity, to be specific. Give her a break. There is a direct relationship to domestic duties you do, and the rate of speed you bounce back. The more you do, the faster you recover. So, take the kids. Have them fed, bathed and in bed when she comes home from her away time.

4.       And if you’re in Over Your Head, probably the best advice (after you measure up, own up, and pony up), is shut up. Let her talk. Ask her what she wants.

5.       Stand Up.

Ask forgiveness. Remember that love is a verb. And repeat number 3.